Becoming a mom is something I always wanted. I grew up playing “babies,” imagining what it would be like.
And then it happened. Like most parents, I got both sides of the story — the sweet moments, the chaos, the exhaustion, and the memories that make you laugh later.
I’m also a therapist. I’ve spent 15+ years working with kids and families. I knew the strategies. I talked through them every day.
And then I became a mom myself.
Let’s just say… it’s a humbling experience.
This article is sponsored by Project LAUNCH.
The Good, The Hard, and Everything In Between
My kid is awesome. Watching her grow into her own little person — her personality, her interests, and her talents — has been incredible.
But I’ll be honest. Infancy wasn’t my favorite, and that’s okay.
The toddler and preschool years? That’s where I’ve really found my joy.
Most days, I focus on how amazing she is. But some days, I’m just getting by.
Some days it’s crafts, pretend play, and feeling like I nailed it.
Other days it’s movies on the couch because that’s all I’ve got in me.
Some days I’m cooking balanced meals.
Other days it’s pasta and toast.
Both count.
You’re Not a “Bad Parent.” You’re Human
It’s easy to fall into the trap of calling yourself a “lazy” or “bad” parent on the hard days.
But parenting isn’t all or nothing.
Some days I can jump into mermaid play and come up with creative activities.
Other days I’m encouraging independent play so I can catch my breath.
That doesn’t make me a bad mom. It means I’m meeting the day where I’m at.
Even with all my training, my child still has tantrums.
And I still have moments where I’m impatient or frustrated over things that are completely age appropriate.
Perfection isn’t the goal. Raising a well-rounded human is.
 Jaspe | Canva |
If you’ve been feeling this lately, you’re not alone. Project LAUNCH has free support and resources for Erie families.
Find help here→
The Part No One Talks About: Repair
I work hard to make my child feel loved.
But there are still moments where my tone is off or I’m short, and she feels it.
She might cry. She might pout. She might need space.
And then we repair.
That’s the part that matters most.
Over time, she’s learning that relationships can bend without breaking. We can mess up, talk about it, and come back together.
One Helpful Strategy to Try
Regulate yourself first.
It sounds simple. It’s not.
When your child is melting down, your instinct is to jump in, fix it, and end the discomfort.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause and calm yourself first.
Our brains naturally mirror the emotions of the people around us. When we escalate, they escalate.
When we slow down, breathe, soften our tone, and release the tension, something can shift.
They start to meet us there.
It doesn’t work every time, but it can make a noticeable difference.
Don’t Miss the Good Moments
When things are going well, it’s easy to move on to the next task.
But those are the moments that matter most.
Even 10 minutes of fully present, silly, engaged play can fill your child’s cup — and yours.
You don’t need hours. You just need to be there.
 Diversify Lens | Canva |
Find the Balance
Parenting is full of ups and downs.
Some days you’re fully “on.”
Some days you’re doing the bare minimum.
Both count.
Give yourself credit for the good.
Give yourself grace for the hard.
Because your child isn’t learning from your perfection.
They’re learning from how you show up, how you repair, and how you treat yourself when things don’t go as planned.
And that might be the most important lesson of all.
Looking for support here in Erie?
Project LAUNCH offers free tools and resources for families in Erie County, with a focus on early childhood development and mental wellness.
About the Author: Vanessa Bonatto, LCSW, is a Mental Health Systems Specialist with the Achievement Center of LECOM Health — and a mom who’s learning right alongside the families she supports.
